Daayra

Ek daayra hai jo 

main baar baar langh deta hu

Main uss se har baar

Zyada hi maang leta hu

Wo deta rehta hai humesha

Main le ke humesha bhula deta hu

Matlabi sa hu main thoda

Lekin usse bematlab ki ummeedein laga leta hu

Hass deta hai wo kabhi kabhi

Par naa kabhi wo kehta nahi

Har baar chowkhat pe aa ke 

Wo mujhe dekh sochta hoga

Kya banaya maine aisa?

Iss baar kya maangne aaya hoga?

Iss baar toh naa kar dunga

Par baad me khud hi dila dunga

Thoda tadapne do isse

Shayad ab ki baar hadd me aaya hoga

Par ek daayra hai jo 

main har baar laangh deta hu

Main uss se har baar

Zyada hi maang leta hu

Just a Phase

Am lost as much as am found 

Insane as much as am sound 

Shallow as much as am profound 

Liberated as much as am bound 

A thousand emotions run through me 

And I often try to catch'em all 

Sometimes I win and most of I fall 

Sometimes fallen I prefer to be 

I stay there long, 

Just on the ground 

Looking at the sky aimlessly 

And I don't find this wrong 

Yet on days when I do pick myself 

I wonder if I need some help 

But on such days, I feel so strong 

That I ignore myself carelessly 

Just a phase, I am convinced 

Yet on some days I self-deprecate un-minced

Thirties, you were supposed to sorted on your own 

But all I find myself doing is wince and groan

The plan didn't pane out well 

And I find myself in a shithole hell 

Here's to another day 

I indulge myself in some wordplay 

I'll probably sleep over it

'Morrow morning I'll get over this shit

of Endings and Beginnings

I have realized that there are no endings
You just move on from one phase to another
And you always want to end on a happy note
So the happy endings are just the end of a phase

Also, you never bother about the starts
It may take off on a rough note
But you are ready to gather yourself
From wherever you are

But the ending, my friend!
A sad end always demands a closure
A closure on a happier note
It's a page that you want to revisit
It's a para that you want to re-edit
Because it's not the closure that you sought
It's a closure the Destiny has brought

So you challenge the Destiny
You try to change that end of the phase
Which should have ended for you
And each day, you struggle
Each day you exhaust yourself
Each day you deal with a chaos
A chaos that is self-inflicted

So it is you who has decided to fight
And you who has decided to go to the end
An end that brings closure
An end on a happier note

Does the Destiny think -
How stubborn this person is?
Or does it think how determined this person is?

But endings are just not endings
They are new beginnings
Won't you want a new beginning to a new ending?

the Future is about to begin

The audience sat anxious, squirming in their seats.

Loud announced the host the title of the show,
“Hold on to your seats, For the Future is about to begin”
Began to unfold the curtains to the background drum’s beats. 

The stage remained dark for a while or so
The crowd growing angry more and more
The backdrop music played all through the while
The director looked at the audience all with a smile. 

The fury of the audience now knew no bounds
Went around the director in circles and rounds
The director stayed calm, unflinchingly still.
A thousand together and an only to kill. 

What you seek from the show, 
Isn’t something I can give 
For the Future is uncertain and you already know
Yet you come to see that you won’t believe 

What pleasure will you get,
Knowing what lies ahead
A sorrowful journey or
Some dear ones death bed?

Live this moment and create a thousand joys
Stop worrying about the Future like the girls & boys
The moment that’s gone won’t come by
You want to see the Future, tell me why, tell me why? 

"The show is over", he declared to each and all,
"Collect your fees for the performance you gave".
Few collected the money,
Rest walked back slowly, brooding and grave.  

Hang till Death

Tomorrow I won't be alive
I know it today
Exhausted of options
No place to run away

A sleepless night this is going to be
Life rewound, flashbacks I'm gonna see
I was wrong at times
But none I believe could count as crimes

Yet in hours, I'll face the gallows
Sorrow for my family for time that follows
What else can they do?
Exhausted of options - all old and new.

Noose will be tightened
Suspended in the air
Floor swept away
Till breath is despair

Fear is taking over
Fear is running wild
Turning this grown up
Into a 4 year old child

My conviction has been run over
For now I am convicted
Law will hold its ground
The Culprit evicted.

Life will pass out of my body
With shivering feet and hands
Galloping would be the stallion
Taking me to Netherworld

Tomorrow I won't be
But my stories will be told
With a new twist
Like pancakes to be sold

A stir, a storm

A stir, a storm – both reside in me

Both fighting each other, wanting to be free

The storm is strong

Calm is the stir

Loud is the storm

The stir no one can hear

Storm makes me run

Stir puts me to rest

I try to make both happy

I try my level best

But one wins over

The other is just gone

The moment dies slowly

And the other is reborn

Like a spectator, I watch them fight

Like gladiators, they do

Bruised every time

With wound not always new

I surrender to both

Time and again

Sometimes blissful in the sun

Sometimes drenched in the rain.

25th July, 2015

Delirium

The truth sunk in slow

But boy! did it hit

It hit so hard

Like no piece of shit.

The chaos that it caused

The damage that it did

Tore the heart apart

The tears couldn't hid.

The parity was gone.

The sanity was lost.

Nothing could pacify

Not at any cost.

In that lunatic state

As He floats in vacuum

Ages passed by

In His state of delirium.